Passion Is a Really Good Thing

Growing up, I associated the phrase “you are so passionate” with my weaknesses. I believed that passion was because a person wasn’t strong enough to stay cool, calm, and collected. As I grew, I believed passion was an antonym of professionalism.

I was wrong. It took me a while, (okay, the truth is it took a couple of decades) to learn that passion is a strength. It is a sign of commitment and an urgent call to action. When someone is passionate, they are not weak. They are simply demonstrating their strong heart and mind aligned and pointing to a single issue.

My passion is good. It is why I continue to seek ways to empower individuals with disabilities every day, even when the data tells me that my efforts haven’t accomplished my goals. Passion is what keeps me up late at night. Passion is what helps me to empathize with those I don’t agree with. Passion is what raises my voice above the noise of media. Passion is what makes me an expert.

I hope our children and young adults find their passion. For some, their passion will lead them to a career. Hopefully, it is one they enjoy and excites them throughout their life. For others, their passion will become a hobby. Both careers and hobbies are needed. One provides the fiscal resources to live, and the other feeds the heart and adds value to living.

Understanding the value of passion also helps me be a better IEP team member. Each person is passionate about the success of the student. Listening to the ideas and perspectives of each person can result in a stronger IEP, and ultimately, greater student success.

And so, I step into my passion. No longer apologizing for it, but instead, unabashedly sharing it. My passion can be the spark to ignite change, which is a really good thing.

Resolutions

I resolve to strive for better and accept my best.

I resolve to listen to my mind, heart, and body, even when what they ask for is a break.

I resolve to play more, laugh often, and earn my smile lines.

I resolve to let others live their own life while cheering them on their journey.

I resolve to leave 2022 in the past and embrace each day as a new moment.

I resolve to remember and celebrate traditions while creating new ones.

I resolve to be grateful for the progress and release myself from waiting for perfection.

I resolve to forgive myself and love whom I have become.

I resolve to not make any resolution that doesn’t serve me and to change my resolutions once they are no longer meeting my needs.

Happy New Year, and January 2, and each day after. Alison

Start Before You Are Ready

On the Work In Progress podcast, Cecile Richards shared a guiding statement: “Start before you are ready.”

I thought back to all the adventures in my life I started before I was truly ready. As someone who works so hard to get it done perfectly, I want to be fully prepared, yet I remember so many times that I thought I was ready when I wasn’t really. Significant moments that come to mind include the first day of high school, starting on the lacrosse team, going to college, running a half marathon, and my first job. I experienced each of these moments even though I hadn’t proven beyond a doubt that I was ready.

How often do we expect students, particularly students with disabilities, to “prove” they are ready?

For instance, in the first few weeks of kindergarten, you will observe students who are already reading and writing their names, some who know all the letters, and some who have not yet learned the names of most letters. You will see students working with their peers and some who are shy. Some students will cry or cling to their parents and others run right into class. These are natural differences. Yet, every year, there are kindergarteners with a disability assigned to a separate classroom until they can show they are ready; ready to read, ready to listen, and ready to work independently. Why are we asking them to achieve a higher level than their peers?

This expectation of “readiness” continues throughout their school years, to high school. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires a transition plan for students beginning no later than age 16. The students need to identify their career goals and education/training plans following high school. Some will also have goals related to independence and community involvement. This is important work. It helps everyone plan together to support the student to achieve their goals. When training or working with teachers and parents, the number one concern I hear is that students choose goals they aren’t ready for or can’t possibly achieve. As a result, we hold students back, waiting for them to be ready. How will they learn to be ready if they aren’t allowed to try it? Some of my greatest victories were when I had to try, fail, and try again. Why are we so afraid that a student with a disability will make a mistake? Or fail on their first, second, or thirty-fifth try? We are, unintentionally, denying the experience of victory and accomplishment.

Admittedly, the stakes get higher as the students get older. This is why it is essential we provide them opportunities early and often. Before they are ready, let them go to kindergarten, try to ride a bike, try out for the talent show, and play tetherball. They will learn life-long lessons about the value of perseverance and become resilient with each effort. Then, as adults, they will have the fortitude to try a new job, learn a new skill, or move out to go to school. In short, they will become confident, resilient adults. Isn’t that the goal?

Starbucks, Disney World, and Me

What could possibly be the same about all 3 of us? 

We all turned 50 a few months ago. 

Over the past five decades, we have grown, made mistakes, learned, changed, and grown some more. For businesses, growth is a key to sustaining, allowing it to flex and shift as the world around them continues to change. 

Humans also need to grow to sustain themselves. First, there is physical growth as the person changes from infant, to toddler, to a child, to teen, and then adult. There is also avoidable growth like the result from too many treats or sweets and not enough movement (my personal challenge.) However, for me, it is the growth of knowledge that continues to be an important sustaining value.  

I actively seek opportunities to learn. It could be formal learning, as represented by my multiple diplomas, and continued enrollment in higher education learning. There is also the very important informal learning that comes from listening, observing, questioning, pondering, experiencing, or reflecting. These are just a few of the myriad of ways humans grow and learn. 

Growing your mind is optional. It requires risk and often, vulnerability. Starting this blog is just one of the ways I am continuing to stretch and learn. I want it to be perfect. As a result, I have delayed adding posts as I continue to refine, rethink, and revise until it was “perfect.” But perfect is a trap preventing me from moving forward. So, I’m back, with this imperfect post.

This is not the first time that I have had to push past my desire to do things perfectly. (For those who are familiar with the enneagram, yes, I am a 1.)

I wanted to be the perfect teacher.

This is a great goal until the fear of being less than perfect creates a barrier. I can remember times when a colleague or parent wanted me to try something new with a student and because I wasn’t sure I could do it perfectly, I would push back or delay. I would spend hours revising an IEP, reflecting on an email I received or reviewing the day for each “mistake” I made to avoid it moving forward. I allowed the search for perfection to get in the way of the work.

Now, in my role supporting teachers and parents, I have learned the value of modeling imperfection and striving for growth. Today, I model trying again, even when it’s not perfect, and look forward to many more posts in the future.

Thirteen Important Lessons

The brain is truly amazing in its ability to manage the complex human body systems, while simultaneously helping the person to make sense of their world, connect with loved ones, laugh at a joke, learn to play a sport, and so on. Neurology is a fascinating science that both, highlights all that we know about the brain while also illuminating all we have left to discover. Recently I read the book How We Learn: Why Brains Learn Better Than Any Machine…For Now by Stanislas Dehaene. This book offers summaries and analysis of the research and links the findings to how we can support humans of any age to continue to learn and thrive. I encourage you to read the book, but I am sharing his thirteen summary points below along with some of my thoughts.

  1. “Do not underestimate children.” If you have met me or read my previous post, you know that I am a believer in the power of high (yet reasonable) expectations. Setting a high bar means we are reaching up, towards the stars. Low expectations only cause us to look down. Think about this in relation to how the simple act of looking up or looking down affects your mood. Looking down we think of as depressed, sad, or defeated. But, looking up…that is a dreamer, full of confidence and happiness.
  1. “Take advantage of the brain’s sensitive periods.” This Ted Talk from Molly Wright says it better than I, but early experiences for learning are essential. The more we can continue to support one another as adults, the more we can better care for and nurture small children.
  1. “Enrich the environment” Students need an environment that encourages exploration, communication, discovery, questioning, and debate. This can be done even in a room that isn’t fancy. Time spent creating a learning culture is priceless.
  1. “Rescind the idea that all children are different.” I LOVE this one! You need to read the book to fully understand, but the basic premise is that we all learn. Yes, every single one of us is learning and our brains are performing in similar ways, which means, yes, all students benefit from high-quality instruction. No, I am not saying we do exactly the same thing for everyone. However, we are all far more alike than different and so yes, we are all students, and we are all learning every single day.
  1. “Pay attention to attention.” Are you still reading this post? I hope that the strategies of a numbered list, font changes, and carefully crafted wording are keeping your attention. It is the way to keep your brain focused on what you want to learn.
  1. “Keep children active, curious, engaged, and autonomous.” We are all born curious and wanting to learn. It is our job to continue to foster the child-like wonder in all of us.
  1. “Make every school day enjoyable.” Fun and learning are not mutually exclusive concepts. We can have fun and struggle with new concepts or ideas. In fact, students are likely to engage in productive struggle longer when they are having fun in the process.
  1. “Encourage efforts.” No one gets everything right the first time. The accomplishments I am most proud of are the ones that took effort and endurance.
  1. “Help students deepen their thinking.” It is easy to fall into the trap of skills-based instruction, focused on small skills that may or may not be connected to larger learning. Also, it is easy to focus on the breadth of standards, curriculum, or ideas rather than focusing deeply on fewer concepts. Finding the balance is an art requiring educators have the time to collaborate and plan for rich learning experiences.
  1. “Set clear learning objectives.” Yep.
  1. “Accept and correct mistakes.” Did you know that some of the greatest technologies or products are a result of a mistake or failed experiment? For instance, the man who developed the adhesive on a post-it was trying to create a permanent adhesive. In the words of Bob Ross, it may be a “happy little accident.”
  1. “Practice regularly.” Practice can be embedded naturally in instruction, learning activities, or daily routines.
  1. “Let students sleep.” Sleep is commonly sacrificed, particularly by adults, and yet, it is the time our bodies need to restore, repair, and move our learning to memory. Sleep is important, and we need to give it more of a priority, myself included.

Dehaene, S. (2020). how we learn: why brains learn better than any machine…for now. Viking (pages 240-242 were referenced above)

Victory

Today was the day I had planned to go running. I had not run all week. I needed to go running. But, I really, really, really didn’t want to. I wasn’t “feeling it.” I simply wasn’t in the mood. I had a stomach ache, a headache, my legs were stiff, and I was tired. But I knew, at the end of the day, I would be sorry I didn’t try. So, I put on my workout clothes and shoes, found my favorite podcast, and stepped outside. And then, I did something different. I chose the most difficult and challenging route possible. I figured, if the run was super hard, it was the routes’ fault, not mine.

The first step, then the second, turning towards the toughest route possible, thinking about where I would run, and moving through it. At the end of the run, I felt amazing! My pace was no different than any other day. Not only did I complete the run, but I also overcame the hills and tough elevations of the route! It was more than an accomplishment, it was a celebration of the results of my efforts. It was…victory!

I wonder, how often is the exact experience for our students? How many mornings do they wake up thinking, “I don’t want to do it today?”

I previously posted my humble gratitude for their courage, but what about the struggle that proceeds the courage?

How often do our students arrive thinking, “I can’t”, or “I don’t want to”, and still, they try?

And then, it occurred to me. That while yes, I did complete the run, the real victory was in overcoming the challenge. It was the arduous route, not simply the step out the door that turned my run from completing the “to-do” list of the day into a feeling of strength, confidence, and victory.

Offering our students a chance is not enough. We need to offer them a challenge. We need to provide them the opportunity to be strong, confident, and victorious. We need to let them choose the path that will lead them to their goal. We need to do more.

I have been a strong believer in the need for all students to have equitable access to instruction. But it occurs to me today that it needs to be a bigger commitment. All students should have access to challenge or productive struggle. It is only when we offer more that students can truly achieve.

Change is Happening

I will admit, I typically focus on the work left to be done. I get frustrated with how slowly change occurs and sometimes, defeated. There are so many opportunities we still aren’t leveraging. Too many people are living below poverty because they have been told they can’t work and receive benefits (which is a myth, but that’s another post for another day.)

But lately, I’ve noticed something. Change is happening.

I first started to notice the change in women’s clothing vendors. I am, like so many women, am not petite and without curves. Therefore, when companies like Girlfriend Collective and Summersalt feature a large variety of body types, I notice.

Suddenly, I notice that companies are not only inclusive of body shape and skin color. They are also creating adaptive wear, designed to support independence and fashionable options. And to make it even better, the clothing looks great! This kind of business model makes me take notice. For instance, Aerie has adaptive underwear, supports Special Olympics, and includes athletes as models. Tommy Hilfiger has a whole line of clothing for boys, girls, men, and women. They have specially designed magnetic buttons, pants with legs that adjust in length or width to accommodate prosthetics, and wear designed for sitting.

Are these small changes enough? Does including a person of color, or of various body shapes, or with a disability really make a difference? Is it enough? Yes. It is. If you have any doubt, then this photo of a young man at Target should convince you otherwise.

When we see ourselves reflected in the pictures around us, it matters. The media can tell us we are of value simply by showing people like us positively and respectfully. This is so simple, and yet, it is so powerful.

Change is happening in a million little ways, and each little thing will add up to the big changes we need to empower everyone.

This post is not sponsored. These vendors have captured my attention due to their inclusive practices.

Words Matter

One of the biggest lies I was told as a child is the saying,

“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Words do hurt…a lot. Words can cause wounds that never heal, festering just below the surface like a toxic infection.

Words do matter.

Each year additional words are added to the dictionary as a result of common use in the culture. But what if we worked to systematically eliminate hurtful, pain-inducing words? I would like to nominate 3 words to be the first to be eliminated: nonverbal, inclusion, and can’t.

Nonverbal is misleading and inaccurate. All humans communicate, it is just that some are using a language that is not shared with the listener. Think about the experience of watching two young toddlers who are babbling, but not using more than a few understood English words. The two babies will babble to each other, interacting for an extended time, and often engaging in other activities together side-by-side. They are communicating something, but they are doing so in a language their parents don’t understand.

I have had students whose disability limits or restricts verbal speech. However, after getting to know the student, the para, peers, and I could understand the individual’s various facial expressions, gestures, or other sounds. We were communicating, albite in an unconventional manner. You see, no one is actually, completely, and fully nonverbal. Non-speech, non-signed language, or some other qualifier, but they are not fully nonverbal.

What about inclusion? Certainly, we need it, right? Wrong. We only have the word inclusion in our vocabulary because we have exclusion in our hearts or minds. Categorizing humans by ranks, castes, cliques, or groups is a sophisticated way to refer to exclusion. If we are all genuinely included, then exclusion becomes meaningless. Doesn’t that sound lovely, a world without exclusion? I continue to hope we will come to a point in our treatment of each other that inclusion, and its converse, exclusion, become meaningless and inconceivable by others. I long for the day that honoring and empowering each other is our culture.

Finally, I urge everyone to remove the word can’t from their vocabulary. Can’t is only true if you let it be so. The implication and unintended consequence of using the word “can’t” is that someone believes you. This is a large world full of possibilities. There is no room for can’t in the middle of possibility. I instead, true to use the phrase, “not currently.” For example, my child is not currently speaking. Or this young student is not currently reading independently.

These are three words that hurt my heart each time I hear them. I would love to know which words you would choose to eliminate and why. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments and begin the work of eliminating words.

By the way, here is a blog with some other recommended words to eliminate if you are interested in a writer’s viewpoint.

Have You Considered College?

I still remember the day I received my letter of acceptance to college. I waited each day for the moment I could check the mail, hoping for the “big” envelope, meaning it included the acceptance paperwork. (Yes, the reliance on the post office indicates that this was quite some time ago.) Reading the first few words, “Ms. G–, We are pleased to inform you…”, my heart started to race and my mind realized that the dream was now a reality.

The next four years went by so quickly. The classes were only a small part of what made college a learning experience. I learned how to live on my own, cook new things, manage laundry and homework, and try out new activities. I discovered the qualities in a friend that are most important to me, my political beliefs, and passion for empowering others. My time at college laid the foundation for my professional and personal life.

The link between college and adult success is well established in research. In addition, for a large number of careers, a college degree is required. These are a few of the reasons for the work of the Think College network.

“Think College is a national organization dedicated to developing, expanding, and improving research and practice in inclusive higher education for students with intellectual disability.”

ThinkCollege.net

Students with intellectual disabilities, or cognitive delays, can benefit from college in the same ways as their peers. The programs vary in structure, but there are some common traits. One is the commitment to inclusive experiences, either in classes, work preparation, social experiences, or a combination. Students will work within their area of passion and career interests, developing the soft skills that are essential to successful employment. This includes skills such as debate, negotiation, and working collaboratively.

Almost every state has at least one Think College program at a university or college. Students considering college, just like their peers without disabilities, can apply for out-of-state colleges or universities that most match their interests. In some cases, financial aid is possible, eliminating a financial barrier to participation.

To learn more, visit ThinkCollege.net.

Empower

Awareness campaigns are a powerful way to inform the community. A good campaign will include general information and a way to contribute to the cause. Some campaigns are annual events, such as autism awareness month. Others, like the ice bucket campaign for ALS, consist of short bursts of education and training.

But are awareness campaigns enough?

A colleague recently asked me this question and it made me wonder, at what point do we move beyond a need for awareness and shift to a call to action? Awareness absolutely has its place for a variety of causes. However, when it comes to autism or other disabilities, maybe it is time we shift to action. We need a call to stretch beyond awareness or acceptance to a place of true action. And, our action should include the individual with a disability, as a self-advocate and leader. Maybe what we really need is a campaign to empower?

Empower: make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

The Britney Spears court case has recently called into question the concept of power and, ultimately, who has power.  In Britney’s case, it is not her.  Britney’s case calls into question the true definition of empowerment. She wants nothing more than the right to be confident and control her own life. This seems like a right that the majority of us have simply because we have had 18 birthdays. The reported reason for her losing the right is that she made one too many bad decisions. But again, why is she not allowed to make a bad decision? Don’t’ we all make mistakes? Isn’t that considered learning?

Britney’s case highlights the legal policies that dis-empower individuals all across the country. This is especially prevalent within the disability community. It is for this reason that I am calling to you, the next time there is a disability awareness campaign, leverage the energy and emotion to call for empowerment. This will not be easy and will require that we become informed and use multiple strategies.

One way to inform and empower individuals is through the Tennessee Center for Decision Making, shared in a previous post. There are also many small ways to help empower individuals including:

  • Allowing someone a chance to make a choice
  • Supporting a choice that is not the one you would make
  • Listen to their words and actions
  • Ask for their ideas and be willing to hear them
  • Watch for their lead
  • Seek leadership training through your state disability council or other state or advocacy agencies
  • Seek out postsecondary opportunities and choices
  • Work with a benefits counselor to better understand the options
  • Be the cheerleader, and not the coach

These are just a few ideas, and hopefully, they empower you.