One of the biggest lies I was told as a child is the saying,
“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
Words do hurt…a lot. Words can cause wounds that never heal, festering just below the surface like a toxic infection.
Words do matter.
Each year additional words are added to the dictionary as a result of common use in the culture. But what if we worked to systematically eliminate hurtful, pain-inducing words? I would like to nominate 3 words to be the first to be eliminated: nonverbal, inclusion, and can’t.
Nonverbal is misleading and inaccurate. All humans communicate, it is just that some are using a language that is not shared with the listener. Think about the experience of watching two young toddlers who are babbling, but not using more than a few understood English words. The two babies will babble to each other, interacting for an extended time, and often engaging in other activities together side-by-side. They are communicating something, but they are doing so in a language their parents don’t understand.
I have had students whose disability limits or restricts verbal speech. However, after getting to know the student, the para, peers, and I could understand the individual’s various facial expressions, gestures, or other sounds. We were communicating, albite in an unconventional manner. You see, no one is actually, completely, and fully nonverbal. Non-speech, non-signed language, or some other qualifier, but they are not fully nonverbal.
What about inclusion? Certainly, we need it, right? Wrong. We only have the word inclusion in our vocabulary because we have exclusion in our hearts or minds. Categorizing humans by ranks, castes, cliques, or groups is a sophisticated way to refer to exclusion. If we are all genuinely included, then exclusion becomes meaningless. Doesn’t that sound lovely, a world without exclusion? I continue to hope we will come to a point in our treatment of each other that inclusion, and its converse, exclusion, become meaningless and inconceivable by others. I long for the day that honoring and empowering each other is our culture.
Finally, I urge everyone to remove the word can’t from their vocabulary. Can’t is only true if you let it be so. The implication and unintended consequence of using the word “can’t” is that someone believes you. This is a large world full of possibilities. There is no room for can’t in the middle of possibility. I instead, true to use the phrase, “not currently.” For example, my child is not currently speaking. Or this young student is not currently reading independently.
These are three words that hurt my heart each time I hear them. I would love to know which words you would choose to eliminate and why. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments and begin the work of eliminating words.
By the way, here is a blog with some other recommended words to eliminate if you are interested in a writer’s viewpoint.
