Empower – Mrs. G. Wiz

Looking Forward

Last week I felt anxious and my heart kept racing. I realized it was because of the feeling and reports of uncertainty in the news and on social media. So, I turned it off and focused on planning my day. Within two days I felt more in control and ready to make plans for a whole week.

I am lucky, this feeling only lasted a few days for me. Uncertainty is common for parents, sneaking up at unexpected moments. For parents of students with disabilities, uncertainty can become overwhelming. The IEP process asks parents what their long- and short-term goals are for their child. They are asked about the best strategies, reinforcers, and goal ideas.

How can a parent be expected to see into the future? The future is the only thing a person can change. We can not change the past.

Looking forward one can see possibilities rather than regrets, doubts, or ghosts of the past. Taking a step forward is scary, but a start. Sometimes we do not see the destination, but we can see the path we are on.

In the moments of uncertainty, I hope you can lift your head, look forward, and take a step. And for those on a path that is not serving them, choose a new track.

Pick Me!

I was not the most athletic child. I could run and play, but I wasn’t the fastest, strongest, or best at anything athletic. In P.E. I never made it even halfway up the rope to the bell and was never a contender for a President’s Fitness Award (some of you are now guessing my age). None of that bothered me.

But organized recess games and the dodgeball games in P.E. did, not because of the activity, but because of the first few minutes when two captains would be chosen and then, one-by-one, select members for their team. I would stand there praying, please, oh please, this one time, please pick me. Typically, I was last or next to the last selection despite my internal pleas.

Not being chosen had me convinced “I am not good at sports.” It wasn’t until high school that I realized the lie I had believed. I am good at sports I want to play. Not competitor-level good, but good enough to have fun and secure a spot on the school lacrosse team.

I think about this as I watch students look at a book and think, “I am not good at reading.” Or when they enter a cafeteria, and you can see them thinking “I am not good enough to be their friend.”

Sometimes this message was an unintended consequence of a teacher or adult trying to protect a student by not having them read aloud when other students did, or not sharing their math problem solution, but letting their tablemate do so. In our effort to protect students from failure, we may be, quite accidentally, leaving them in their seats praying silently, please, pick me.

Then there is the converse when we assign a student with a disability a buddy or friend. Hear me out, I think the social group programs that pair up students with and without disabilities are great. But, I think we need to remember that our friends weren’t chosen for us, we chose them. Sometimes the person we want to be friends with doesn’t want to be our friend, and that is okay. It is a part of life. Sometimes we were introduced to someone because a third person thought we had “so much in common.” And that is great too. But in each of those scenarios, we have a choice to stay or go. Students with disabilities need that same choice, and sometimes, they will choose someone who doesn’t want to be their friend. Okay, let’s teach them how to accept that, and then introduce to other peers who have similar interests.

I wonder, if I had been the first choice, or even a choice halfway through picking the teams, would I have tried out for more school athletic teams? Would I have started running and working out younger? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe sprits isn’t my thing, But, I do know, that every child should know there is someone who sees their value, and says the three magical words, “I pick you.”

Fortune Telling

I have wanted to be a special education teacher since age three. I didn’t realize that this was unusual until high school. I thought everyone just “knew” what they would be when they grew up. It wasn’t until I watched my classmates struggle to decide where to go to college that I realized I was different.

Then, in college, I had friends struggling to declare a major, and again when changing majors while trying to graduate on time. My journey was so clear to me. Yet, I did wonder, why didn’t I have doubts? Why didn’t I have more interests? The truth is, I believe that God had led me to the career that fills my soul but also fills my desire to continue to learn and grow. I am a teacher.

Politics and social media have changed what it means to say, “I am a teacher.”

But nothing can change the incredible experience of being a teacher.

As a special educator, I support students in their journey to adulthood. I get to help them navigate friendships, learn new skills, and discover their gifts and passions. All of this leads to the greatest of decisions, what do you want to be when you grow up?

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, (IDEA), requires a transition plan complete with career goals by age 16. Many states, realizing the challenges of successful transitions to adulthood, have required transition planning beginning at age 14.

Age 14 allows for a focus on adulthood, often beginning in middle school, and throughout the entire high school career. The belief is, with good planning the student will know what their goals are and then do the work to achieve them. However, the reality is, they don’t usually know what they want to do. It is rare that a student has a clear vision for their life—I know, I was an exception.

Purposeful planning for the discovery of a career is the true test of a transition plan. Does it leave room for change? IF the student, like their peers, changes their mind about what they like or want to do, can the plan shift with them? How do we plan, but still allow natural adolescence?

I fear that parents feel pressured to become fortune tellers, looking into their crystal ball to see what career will fit their child’s gifts, passions, and dreams. But, like the fortune tellers at a fair, the vision they see is only the image of what may be, not what it is.

If we can see one vision, why are we afraid to see a different one? If we saw the students as a worker in a local restaurant, why not see them as the manager in a local firm? Why are we limiting ourselves to our visions? Life is far more interesting than a single vision. We should encourage trying out a variety of careers and options. Often, the joy is in the journey, not just the destination.

Similarly, when a student has a clear vision for their future, we need to foster it. As teachers, we can help them create a concrete plan to achieve their dream. After all, While I was different from my peers, I was not unique. There are others with a clear plan for their future, and, like me, it is a career that fills their mind and soul. We can all work together to help them step into their dream.

A New School Year

My social media accounts are showing signs of school starting with pictures of new backpacks, wish lists for our amazing teachers, and first day of school photos capturing the special moment.

Similar to these posts, I love the start of a new school year. As a child, it meant a new teacher, a classroom, and a carefully selected back-to-school outfit. I loved selecting my new box of crayons, markers, and pens, and looked forward to covering my books. (For those who are younger than I am, we were required to cover our textbooks with a carefully origami-folded paper grocery bag.)

Not everyone is excited. For some students school is hard. The work is hard. Making friends is hard. Learning to advocate for yourself is hard. Following directions and sitting for long periods of time is hard. And these are only a few of the reasons.

Students with disabilities have support to start the school year off well, but there are no guarantees. Parents have carefully planned for the future at IEP meetings. Yet, despite this planning and preparation, things may happen. There is no way to avoid the, well…unavoidable, surprise. Things may not go as planned. There may be services or supports not in place as everyone works through scheduling.

While everything may not go as planned. But…that means it is possible that things could go better than planned. Sometimes the greatest gifts are the unexpected ones. Days that I had an adult out sick or there was a sudden and unplanned schedule change could be stressful, but often I was surprised with good news. The student whose para was out demonstrated they were ready to be more independent. The schedule change showed me a better alternative to the one we were attached to as “routine.”

The same is true when there was a staffing change. I like knowing the collaborating teacher ahead of time, but often, the “new” teacher was exactly the person needed at that time.

As students begin a year of unknowns, I try to look at the good surprises rather than fear the ones I can not control. After all, you tend to find what you look for in life.

Hidden in Plain Sight

People with disabilities comprise about 29% of the United States population. Yet, if I were to reflect on my experiences of the past month, I have only seen a person with a visible disability 3 times. Keep in mind that I have visited large, ticketed events, restaurants, bars, malls, stores, and grocery stores. Where are the people with disabilities?

While it is true that there are many disabilities we cannot see, there is a large number of people with visible disabilities who simply aren’t represented equitability in my community. In the past (although not a distant enough past) individuals with significant disabilities were sent to institutions. But we know better. Yet, when was the last time you saw a child with a disability playing at the local park or on a splash pad? When did you last see an adolescent with disabilities at an arcade or youth sports? When was the last time you sat at a bar and saw a person with a disability sharing a drink with a friend?

As a child, I remember concentrating on the faces of children missing printed on milk cartons so I could identify them when I saw them. I never saw one of those children, and I feel much the same today as I look around me for representatives of my entire community, not just those with no disability or invisible disabilities.

To be honest, I also hate the phrase “invisible disability,” because it isn’t invisible to the person or those who love them. I wish I had better language and welcome suggestions to help me articulate clearly my desire to empower all people.

I do know that we no longer hide people away in an institution. But I also know we aren’t fully welcoming of all people and differences. I hope that in a small way, bringing to light who is missing will start a small ripple of change. The next time you are out, will you notice who is there but also who isn’t? Will you start to look for the members of our community with disabilities and opportunities to engage them as equals in your community? Will you advocate for accessible opportunities?

I hope so.

And to the self-advocates and their families, I offer you an opportunity to share how I can support you, welcome you, and empower you.

Passion Is a Really Good Thing

Growing up, I associated the phrase “you are so passionate” with my weaknesses. I believed that passion was because a person wasn’t strong enough to stay cool, calm, and collected. As I grew, I believed passion was an antonym of professionalism.

I was wrong. It took me a while, (okay, the truth is it took a couple of decades) to learn that passion is a strength. It is a sign of commitment and an urgent call to action. When someone is passionate, they are not weak. They are simply demonstrating their strong heart and mind aligned and pointing to a single issue.

My passion is good. It is why I continue to seek ways to empower individuals with disabilities every day, even when the data tells me that my efforts haven’t accomplished my goals. Passion is what keeps me up late at night. Passion is what helps me to empathize with those I don’t agree with. Passion is what raises my voice above the noise of media. Passion is what makes me an expert.

I hope our children and young adults find their passion. For some, their passion will lead them to a career. Hopefully, it is one they enjoy and excites them throughout their life. For others, their passion will become a hobby. Both careers and hobbies are needed. One provides the fiscal resources to live, and the other feeds the heart and adds value to living.

Understanding the value of passion also helps me be a better IEP team member. Each person is passionate about the success of the student. Listening to the ideas and perspectives of each person can result in a stronger IEP, and ultimately, greater student success.

And so, I step into my passion. No longer apologizing for it, but instead, unabashedly sharing it. My passion can be the spark to ignite change, which is a really good thing.

Resolutions

I resolve to strive for better and accept my best.

I resolve to listen to my mind, heart, and body, even when what they ask for is a break.

I resolve to play more, laugh often, and earn my smile lines.

I resolve to let others live their own life while cheering them on their journey.

I resolve to leave 2022 in the past and embrace each day as a new moment.

I resolve to remember and celebrate traditions while creating new ones.

I resolve to be grateful for the progress and release myself from waiting for perfection.

I resolve to forgive myself and love whom I have become.

I resolve to not make any resolution that doesn’t serve me and to change my resolutions once they are no longer meeting my needs.

Happy New Year, and January 2, and each day after. Alison

Start Before You Are Ready

On the Work In Progress podcast, Cecile Richards shared a guiding statement: “Start before you are ready.”

I thought back to all the adventures in my life I started before I was truly ready. As someone who works so hard to get it done perfectly, I want to be fully prepared, yet I remember so many times that I thought I was ready when I wasn’t really. Significant moments that come to mind include the first day of high school, starting on the lacrosse team, going to college, running a half marathon, and my first job. I experienced each of these moments even though I hadn’t proven beyond a doubt that I was ready.

How often do we expect students, particularly students with disabilities, to “prove” they are ready?

For instance, in the first few weeks of kindergarten, you will observe students who are already reading and writing their names, some who know all the letters, and some who have not yet learned the names of most letters. You will see students working with their peers and some who are shy. Some students will cry or cling to their parents and others run right into class. These are natural differences. Yet, every year, there are kindergarteners with a disability assigned to a separate classroom until they can show they are ready; ready to read, ready to listen, and ready to work independently. Why are we asking them to achieve a higher level than their peers?

This expectation of “readiness” continues throughout their school years, to high school. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires a transition plan for students beginning no later than age 16. The students need to identify their career goals and education/training plans following high school. Some will also have goals related to independence and community involvement. This is important work. It helps everyone plan together to support the student to achieve their goals. When training or working with teachers and parents, the number one concern I hear is that students choose goals they aren’t ready for or can’t possibly achieve. As a result, we hold students back, waiting for them to be ready. How will they learn to be ready if they aren’t allowed to try it? Some of my greatest victories were when I had to try, fail, and try again. Why are we so afraid that a student with a disability will make a mistake? Or fail on their first, second, or thirty-fifth try? We are, unintentionally, denying the experience of victory and accomplishment.

Admittedly, the stakes get higher as the students get older. This is why it is essential we provide them opportunities early and often. Before they are ready, let them go to kindergarten, try to ride a bike, try out for the talent show, and play tetherball. They will learn life-long lessons about the value of perseverance and become resilient with each effort. Then, as adults, they will have the fortitude to try a new job, learn a new skill, or move out to go to school. In short, they will become confident, resilient adults. Isn’t that the goal?

Victory

Today was the day I had planned to go running. I had not run all week. I needed to go running. But, I really, really, really didn’t want to. I wasn’t “feeling it.” I simply wasn’t in the mood. I had a stomach ache, a headache, my legs were stiff, and I was tired. But I knew, at the end of the day, I would be sorry I didn’t try. So, I put on my workout clothes and shoes, found my favorite podcast, and stepped outside. And then, I did something different. I chose the most difficult and challenging route possible. I figured, if the run was super hard, it was the routes’ fault, not mine.

The first step, then the second, turning towards the toughest route possible, thinking about where I would run, and moving through it. At the end of the run, I felt amazing! My pace was no different than any other day. Not only did I complete the run, but I also overcame the hills and tough elevations of the route! It was more than an accomplishment, it was a celebration of the results of my efforts. It was…victory!

I wonder, how often is the exact experience for our students? How many mornings do they wake up thinking, “I don’t want to do it today?”

I previously posted my humble gratitude for their courage, but what about the struggle that proceeds the courage?

How often do our students arrive thinking, “I can’t”, or “I don’t want to”, and still, they try?

And then, it occurred to me. That while yes, I did complete the run, the real victory was in overcoming the challenge. It was the arduous route, not simply the step out the door that turned my run from completing the “to-do” list of the day into a feeling of strength, confidence, and victory.

Offering our students a chance is not enough. We need to offer them a challenge. We need to provide them the opportunity to be strong, confident, and victorious. We need to let them choose the path that will lead them to their goal. We need to do more.

I have been a strong believer in the need for all students to have equitable access to instruction. But it occurs to me today that it needs to be a bigger commitment. All students should have access to challenge or productive struggle. It is only when we offer more that students can truly achieve.

Change is Happening

I will admit, I typically focus on the work left to be done. I get frustrated with how slowly change occurs and sometimes, defeated. There are so many opportunities we still aren’t leveraging. Too many people are living below poverty because they have been told they can’t work and receive benefits (which is a myth, but that’s another post for another day.)

But lately, I’ve noticed something. Change is happening.

I first started to notice the change in women’s clothing vendors. I am, like so many women, am not petite and without curves. Therefore, when companies like Girlfriend Collective and Summersalt feature a large variety of body types, I notice.

Suddenly, I notice that companies are not only inclusive of body shape and skin color. They are also creating adaptive wear, designed to support independence and fashionable options. And to make it even better, the clothing looks great! This kind of business model makes me take notice. For instance, Aerie has adaptive underwear, supports Special Olympics, and includes athletes as models. Tommy Hilfiger has a whole line of clothing for boys, girls, men, and women. They have specially designed magnetic buttons, pants with legs that adjust in length or width to accommodate prosthetics, and wear designed for sitting.

Are these small changes enough? Does including a person of color, or of various body shapes, or with a disability really make a difference? Is it enough? Yes. It is. If you have any doubt, then this photo of a young man at Target should convince you otherwise.

When we see ourselves reflected in the pictures around us, it matters. The media can tell us we are of value simply by showing people like us positively and respectfully. This is so simple, and yet, it is so powerful.

Change is happening in a million little ways, and each little thing will add up to the big changes we need to empower everyone.

This post is not sponsored. These vendors have captured my attention due to their inclusive practices.